I have labeled this mission not impossible even though the task certainly seems impossible. It's not like we wake up in the  morning and say, "ok how can I be evil to my husband today?"  At least I hope not! But in reality, we can and sometime do evil to them and not even realize it. 

Let's look at what good is: 

1- a favorable character or tendency;

2- agreeable or pleasant; 

3- considerable, ample; 

4- full {good measure}; 

5- true, real, {holds good to his promise};

6- adequate, satisfactory; 

7- right, just, virtuous, commendable, kind, benevolent; 

8- praiseworthy character. 

Our privilege as wives is to make our husband look good, sound good, and be good. This is an awesome task if taken care of right can be very rewarding. I will be honest here and let you in on a little secret. 

I have not always done right by my husband. When we first got married, I belittled him, talked back to him, and told everyone who would listen about his shortcomings. No way, no how was that doing my husband good. In fact, I was doing him evil.

Now let's look at what evil is:

1- not good morally; wicked

2- arising from bad character or conduct

3- causing a discomfort or repulsion; offensive, disagreeable, causing harm

4- something that brings sorrow, distress, or calamity

5- the fact of suffering, misfortune and wrong doing. 

Yup, that's what I was doing, all the above, guilty as charged!

I knew it was wrong, but  I didn't care. I was hurt and wanted him to hurt too. Looking back I can see that I caused more heartache for myself than I did mending our broken relationship. 

It has taken lots of prayer and reading of God's Word to make things right. I changed the way I prayed from, "Lord change him" to "Lord change me" and that has made all the difference in the world. I have learned that I am the one who needed changing first to make our marriage better. The way I talked about my husband, the way I acted toward my husband, the way I perceived how things were going. When I changed this, things did get better!!

I let the Lord teach me that all change comes from Him alone. I also learned that past hurts are not supposed to be mixed in with new hurts, creating a super hurt. Forgiveness is essential to a happy, healthy marriage.

Here are a few things to look out for:

1- Don't compare your life to others- try not to compare your marriage, your house, you car, your finances to other couples who appear to be doing better than you. This is just you looking in from the outside. You do not know what is really going on behind closed doors. They may look like things are all put together and going good, but you don't know if their marriage lacks affection, or if they are about to lose their house!

2- Refuse to nurture bitterness- if you have had major conflict, forgive. Bitterness causes us to perceive everything through bitter eyes. The enemy will use a root of bitterness to defile all our thinking and make us pull away from our husbands. The further we pull away, the harder it is to bridge the gap. 

3- Nurture your own spiritual walk with God- be sure to take time to read God's word, pray and spend time with the Lord. If you neglect this, everything else will fall apart. It is essential that you allow the Holy Ghost to mend your heart, your hurts and teach you His ways for your marriage.

Here are some simple ways to do your husband good:

1- Encourage your husband to fulfill God's plan for his life

2- Talk only good about your husband to others

3- Watch your spending, be sensitive to your financial needs

4- Be on the same page with him in how you raise your children

5- Follow his leadership, be respectful of his decisions even if you do not agree with them.

6- Take care of the home the way your husband likes, make it a safe haven for him to come home to.

7- Do not withhold yourself from your husband

8- Pray for your husband

After writing all this, I know I am still a work in progress. I need more practice in #2, #3, #4, #6, #7, #8!!!

It's a lot of do, but I know it's not impossible!!

What areas can you improve in??