Elderly Caregiver Guilt And How To Cope

11:54 AM



Health isn’t a personal thing. As other people around you start to suffer, then you have to take care of
them. Parents spend their lives caring for their kids so it’s the least a child can do in their time of need.
Of course, the process isn’t a walk in the park. After a while, it starts to grate as the lack of
appreciation becomes apparent. What happens next is weird: you feel guilty. Even though you’re doing
a job, it still feels as if you resent them a little for being a burden.


When this happens, you have to figure out how to cope or else the situation will escalate. These are
the best strategies.


Accept It’s Inevitable


Because you’re human, you’re going to whisper under your breath and behind their back. It doesn’t
matter that they are your mom and dad; if they don’t say “thank you” and “please,” you’re hardwired to
think they’re ungrateful. Accepting this as an inevitability of life saves you a lot of soul-searching in the
future. First of all, it puts things into perspective, as in, you can’t do much about it but vent every once
in a while. Secondly, it reminds you that you love them even though they are annoying.


Put All The Options On The Table


Plenty of children realize they aren’t cut out to be carers. The only reason they do it because they can’t
leave their parents in the lurch. If you fall into this category, the wise thing to do is to analyze all of the
options. Call Parc Provence and other residential care homes and ask them about their services and
prices. Remember that the elderly want their freedom and might love an assisted living program. Or,
supplement your duties with a few hours from a nurse. Just a few hours a week can give you a break
without leaving your parents alone.


Reach Out Remotely


Part of the guilt is the fact that you can’t be there all of the time. Maybe your siblings have taken on the
role of the caregiver, or perhaps your loved ones are in a home? In this case, being far away can make
it seem as if you don’t care. Of course, you do because they mean the world to you, but you have your
own life now. Thankfully, technology is here to lend a hand. With an internet connection and a mobile
device, you can call them via video chat and speak as if you are in the room.


Respect Their Opinions

Children who are caregivers tend to make decisions for the good of their parents. Well, this causes

tension because it’s as if you don’t respect their opinion. Plus, you’re dictating to them and treating
them like kids. Once you realize it, it can cut to the bone. So, always involve them in the
decision-making process and take their thoughts on board. You might have to go a different way, but
at least you didn’t ignore them.

Does coping seem easier now? What are your methods?

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3 comments

  1. I haven’t gotten to this phase in my life, but I expect it will be difficult.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is a sensitive topic to discuss but this is a real thing. I personally like all the aspects you put into post. Technology plays a crucial role when you are away from your elderly parents, and its now important too for parents to use some automated systems like banking, filling tax and returns etc so the headache will be less than previous.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It is a tough decision to be a carer to a parent. If there are siblings who are able to, it will help to share the load. It's a noble thing to do no matter how difficult it is.

    ReplyDelete

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